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Work Sammich/Blog

Work Sammich Blog is a new and tasty buffet of useful news and info, career "how-to" stories, one-on-one mentoring opportunities,  answers to some of your trickiest career questions and so much more to come as we continue to grow.  We'll share it all here to help you get ahead. Ask us, share with us, join us.  We want to hear from YOU!

The odd way I once built rapport with my boss.

September 16, 2015 GoodWorkSense
No Rapport with boss.jpg

 Years ago I had an instance where my direct supervisor on a new job did not "get" me at all, nor did I "get" him.  Our interaction, communication, even our understanding of each others emails was really off and awkward.  I was doing my job well based on guidance from other colleagues, but I was getting really concerned about my boss feeling very "meh" about me and how it would affect my career there. It got to the point where I realized I was trying to avoid contact with him, only emailing him or returning his calls in response to a voice mail or email from him.

After a couple of months I realized I'd better face the fact that this would not go well for me long-term.  The only thing I could think of was to do the opposite of avoiding him.  I thought maybe if I spent more time with him, like I did with people I liked,  I could at least understand the way he thought and communicated a little better.  Even if the progress I made was all one-sided, it would be better than the way things were.

So I started willing myself to walk over to his office and respond to emails and voice mails in person. It wasn't easy at first.  In meetings I would force myself to sit in the seat right beside him, the way you would with a friend. After a few weeks, things started to change.  When I went over to talk to him I felt comfortable asking about things in his office that were genuinely interesting to me.  We started to be less awkward and actually started to build a real ease with one another.  I was shocked to discover that he had a funny sense of humor.  He remained a pretty reserved guy so it's not like we never sat around and played poker together or anything, but we did achieve a genuine, relaxed easy flow of communication with one another over time, that I really appreciated.  A few years after he retired I was looking to move on myself.  I called him and asked if he would be a reference for me.  The recruiter I was working with later told me that the reference he gave me was one the most positive, glowing references that he had ever had for any candidate during his career.  

I never forgot this approach.  I've used it deliberately since then with someone I had to work with on a team, but didn't particularly like very much.  It worked in a similar way and definitely helped build rapport. 

What's the most creative way you've ever built rapport or improved a relationship with a boss or co-worker?

Tags work relationships, soft skills, millennials, rapport, getting along at work
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"A recent study conducted by Millennial Branding and American Express showed that 61% of managers surveyed felt that soft skills were more important in new hires than hard skills, or even technical skills....the top 3 characteristics managers looked for when promoting millennials were the ability to prioritize work (87%), a positive attitude (86%) and team work skills (86%)."  Advice.CareerBuilder.com

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